1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
4. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
17. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
20. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Pill Box
Congratulations to me! With all of the supplements I am taking I had to come up with a better strategy than writing the dosage and time on each bottle of supplements. I am now the proud owner of a pill box! I chose the pill box that offers the seven day, four times a day plan. Monday Morning, Monday Noon, Monday Evening and Monday Bedtime and so on for a full week.
This plan works only if you put the correct supplements in the correct compartment and snap the lid shut. I managed to dump four days' worth of carefully measured supplements on the floor just seconds after I thought I snapped the lids shut.
I remember thinking that only OLD people used pill boxes because their minds weren't sharp enough to remember the correct dosage and time to take their little helpers. The joke is on me because it does require extra effort to keep it all straight.
Will someone please drink a beer for me??
This plan works only if you put the correct supplements in the correct compartment and snap the lid shut. I managed to dump four days' worth of carefully measured supplements on the floor just seconds after I thought I snapped the lids shut.
I remember thinking that only OLD people used pill boxes because their minds weren't sharp enough to remember the correct dosage and time to take their little helpers. The joke is on me because it does require extra effort to keep it all straight.
Will someone please drink a beer for me??
Life at 45
It is true what they say. The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be.
It has been years since I had any kind of physical that consisted of more than the usual rubber mallet test on the elbows and knees. I've been feeling kind of sluggish lately and made that very comment to a friend of mine. She suggested I contact and make an appointment with her doctor in SA. Knowing me as well as she does, she knew very well that I would never follow through with my good intention of making said appointment. So she did it for me. And even hauled me to SA to ensure that I didn't cancel the appointment.
Let's just say that I'm in worse shape than I thought I was:
1. Spine needs some adjustment.
2. Borderline diabetic.
3. Overweight
4. Change my diet: NO YEAST. NO DAIRY. NO BEER OR WINE. (shoot me. now.)
My blood veins refused to cooperate and it took two different techs and five sticks to find the vein that would give up enough blood for testing. Needless to say, my blood in the vial was very, very sluggish. (It is no fault of the techs that my veins are deep and it takes some digging to find "the one".) Blood test results will be available next week and I will have to make an appointment so the doctor can discuss the findings with me. Oh. Boy.
In the meantime, I'm taking natural supplements to help rid my body of toxins including the sludge in my liver. Couldn't I just be forever 21?
It has been years since I had any kind of physical that consisted of more than the usual rubber mallet test on the elbows and knees. I've been feeling kind of sluggish lately and made that very comment to a friend of mine. She suggested I contact and make an appointment with her doctor in SA. Knowing me as well as she does, she knew very well that I would never follow through with my good intention of making said appointment. So she did it for me. And even hauled me to SA to ensure that I didn't cancel the appointment.
Let's just say that I'm in worse shape than I thought I was:
1. Spine needs some adjustment.
2. Borderline diabetic.
3. Overweight
4. Change my diet: NO YEAST. NO DAIRY. NO BEER OR WINE. (shoot me. now.)
My blood veins refused to cooperate and it took two different techs and five sticks to find the vein that would give up enough blood for testing. Needless to say, my blood in the vial was very, very sluggish. (It is no fault of the techs that my veins are deep and it takes some digging to find "the one".) Blood test results will be available next week and I will have to make an appointment so the doctor can discuss the findings with me. Oh. Boy.
In the meantime, I'm taking natural supplements to help rid my body of toxins including the sludge in my liver. Couldn't I just be forever 21?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Picnics and Politics
Our City Judge organized a picnic lunch today at the City Park and was kind enough to invite me to join the party. Those in attendance were my supervisor, the Justice of the Peace, the City Secretary and a City Councilman. City Judge surprised us with fare from our local BBQ joint, Lum's. And what a spread we had! Potato salad, cole slaw, brisket, sausage and turkey. And, yes, lots of Lum's special BBQ sauce.
The last time I sat on a bench at the City Park was at my eighth birthday party. City Park was THE PLACE to have a birthday party back in the 70s. I was impressed with the maintenance of our park. I was fortunate enough to snag a seat that faced the river and felt blessed to be a part of a group whose company I enjoy. I make that last statement with a grain of salt.
As with most small communities there is always some sort of controversy that splits a town in two. Right now the hot topic is our current hospital situation. And most of you know what I am talking about if you read the Weekly Wipe. There I was, sitting on the picnic bench taking in the warm sun and fresh air and City Councilman said, "What's new with the hospital board situation?" I'm not into violence but I wanted to reach across the table and smack him right upside his pointed little head. Thinking she could change the subject, Justice of the Peace asked if anybody had filed for the position of Mayor. Lo and behold! City Councilman announced HE had filed for that very position just yesterday. Did I mention I'm glad I live outside city limits?
I appreciated the invitation to the picnic but will check the guest list if I receive future invitations. Sigh, politics do not mix well with picnics.
The last time I sat on a bench at the City Park was at my eighth birthday party. City Park was THE PLACE to have a birthday party back in the 70s. I was impressed with the maintenance of our park. I was fortunate enough to snag a seat that faced the river and felt blessed to be a part of a group whose company I enjoy. I make that last statement with a grain of salt.
As with most small communities there is always some sort of controversy that splits a town in two. Right now the hot topic is our current hospital situation. And most of you know what I am talking about if you read the Weekly Wipe. There I was, sitting on the picnic bench taking in the warm sun and fresh air and City Councilman said, "What's new with the hospital board situation?" I'm not into violence but I wanted to reach across the table and smack him right upside his pointed little head. Thinking she could change the subject, Justice of the Peace asked if anybody had filed for the position of Mayor. Lo and behold! City Councilman announced HE had filed for that very position just yesterday. Did I mention I'm glad I live outside city limits?
I appreciated the invitation to the picnic but will check the guest list if I receive future invitations. Sigh, politics do not mix well with picnics.
Monday, March 8, 2010
A few more random thoughts....
1. Ever have that "F$)# it" attitude before you ever get out of bed in the morning?
2. Another one of God's cruel jokes: Men hit their sexual prime in their 20s; women peak in their 40s.
3. Three little pigs ran across the road on my morning commute. I was the Big Bad Wolf.
4. Today is Kelli's birthday!!
5. Old Man Winter needs to surrender to Miss Spring. Enough is enough.
6. Laurrie and I are becoming avid bird watchers. It keeps us out of the bars....
7. Taking the cats to a new vet this Thursday.
8. The home office is projecting the closing of two branch offices by May, 2010. So far, I still have a job.
9. So glad the days are over of my brother thinking it was cool to get me in a headlock and toot on me.
10. Still think my first career choice of wanting to be a vampire was a pretty darn good idea.
11. I sometimes wonder if people look in the mirror at their attire before leaving the house.
12. Centipedes, as do most crawly things, freak me out.
13. I repeat, it was Sam's idea to till part of the yard for our spring/summer garden.
14. Sam swears I am the only wife who has ever requested her husband to take off his muddy boots BEFORE walking across the clean floor.
15. Think without boundaries.
16. Steal five minutes for yourself every day.
17. The barter system works best when you actually have something someone else really wants.
18. Set aside time every day to spend with your significant other.
19. Don't say "I love you" unless you really mean it.
20. "Please" and "thank you" --- words worth utilizing.
2. Another one of God's cruel jokes: Men hit their sexual prime in their 20s; women peak in their 40s.
3. Three little pigs ran across the road on my morning commute. I was the Big Bad Wolf.
4. Today is Kelli's birthday!!
5. Old Man Winter needs to surrender to Miss Spring. Enough is enough.
6. Laurrie and I are becoming avid bird watchers. It keeps us out of the bars....
7. Taking the cats to a new vet this Thursday.
8. The home office is projecting the closing of two branch offices by May, 2010. So far, I still have a job.
9. So glad the days are over of my brother thinking it was cool to get me in a headlock and toot on me.
10. Still think my first career choice of wanting to be a vampire was a pretty darn good idea.
11. I sometimes wonder if people look in the mirror at their attire before leaving the house.
12. Centipedes, as do most crawly things, freak me out.
13. I repeat, it was Sam's idea to till part of the yard for our spring/summer garden.
14. Sam swears I am the only wife who has ever requested her husband to take off his muddy boots BEFORE walking across the clean floor.
15. Think without boundaries.
16. Steal five minutes for yourself every day.
17. The barter system works best when you actually have something someone else really wants.
18. Set aside time every day to spend with your significant other.
19. Don't say "I love you" unless you really mean it.
20. "Please" and "thank you" --- words worth utilizing.
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