White Woman Wins

It is a sad day for Anson the Armadillo. I saw him by the trashcan and dashed back inside the house to get the gun. The good news is he never saw it coming. I felt a nano-second of remorse and then he ran under my vehicle and into the carport leaving a trail of evidence. Son of a bitch. Now I have to clean up the evidence before a local law officer shows up.

I immediately looked around the neighborhood to see if anybody heard the gun shot. So far, so good. I located Anson and grabbed him by his tail. He still had a little bit of fight left in him. I dispatched him to the vacant lot behind the House of Dortha. Just when I thought all was done, Gopa hollered at me and asked me if I heard a shot. "Guilty", I told him. He was relieved that I had taken care of a factor that contributed to Cordelia's barking at night.

Then Dortha got home from church. I proceeded to tell her what I had done and she told me that if she was twenty years younger she would've beaten me to the punch, er, shooting of the armadillo. Seems that she had seen him a time or two and was close to calling the Animal Control Officer to do something about it. Then another neighbor from up the street was doing his afternoon walking and stopped to say hey. Brought him up to speed and he said, "Well, good, I'm glad I don't have to worry about being the one to shoot it."

And leave it to Dortha to ask me, "Was it male or female?" I replied, "How in the hell am I supposed to know the difference?" She laughed and said that she always used to ask Butch the same question and got the same reply I gave her.

Final score: Anson - Dead; White Woman - Neighborhood Heroine