The Gazing Ball

The House of Dortha has the most beautiful gazing ball in the front flower bed. I probably enjoy it more than my neighbor because our houses face each other from across the street. On one of my many driveway visits with Dortha, she caught me eyeballing her gazing ball. I commented on how pretty it was. If I remember correctly, this is the second one Dortha has had. Mind you, her yardman has it situated in the flower bed BEHIND wire panels. It is safe from deer, cats and of course, me.

I told Kris that a gazing ball serves no other purpose than to look pretty. But wouldn't it be neat to have one for our yard? My front yard looks like shit. Truly it does. My mother felt sorry for my yard and bought me some sort of box hedges and two "yellow bell" flowering plants. Kris and I planted all the lovely plants. The only thing that survived the first year was one of the yellow bells. So my mother bought four more yellow bells and so far, so good.

Kris presented me with my Christmas present on Tuesday when she popped in for an overnight visit. IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PURPLE GAZING BALL! We talked about where it should hold court in the back yard. But since it was dark we opted to leave it in the house for now. You know where this story is going; don't you?

I am a creature of habit and I know where every piece of furniture is in my house. I know how many steps it takes to get from my bed to the bathroom. I can locate a glass in the cabinet at midnight and fill it with water without ever turning on the light. So on Tuesday night, I do my usual routine of locking the doors and turning off the lights. I switched off the Christmas lights and a couple of lamps in the living room. Made the corner by the recliner and CRASH! I mean I knew the instant my leg bumped the gazing ball stand that there was no saving the gazing ball. I said a few cuss words. (Okay, more than a few.) Kris came from around the corner and was turning on lights as she was headed my way. The beautiful gazing ball had shattered into a hundred pieces. Shards of glass scattered everywhere. And did you know that the interior of a gazing ball has a very thick layer of gold glitter?!

Believe it or not, I was at a total loss of words after my initial outburst of cursing. I now have a pretty wrought iron gazing ball stand with no gazing ball. Kris said she'll go back to Hobby Lobby and see if she can find another purple gazing ball. In the meantime, I'm still cleaning up gold glitter at the scene of the accident.